Wording guide

Funeral program wording

Written under the worst possible time pressure, by people who should not have to think about layout. It should be simple, and it is.

An unlit white candle on white linen in a quiet interior

A funeral program has a fixed structure and there is comfort in that. Front: the name, the dates, a photograph. Inside: the order of service, so a room full of people who do not all know each other can follow what is happening and know when to stand. Back: an acknowledgement from the family, and the details of whatever happens afterwards. That is the whole document, and there is no need to invent anything.

The obituary inside the program is not the newspaper obituary and should be much shorter. Where they were born, who they married, what they did, who survives them, in four or five sentences. Families often try to fit a whole life onto a folded sheet, and the result is a wall of small type nobody reads at the service. The long version belongs in the eulogy or a memorial book.

Two practical things get forgotten in the rush. First, names have to be spelled correctly, all of them, and checked by somebody other than whoever typed them, because this document is kept for decades. Second, the reception details need to be on it, because after the service nobody is in a state to remember an address given aloud.

The wording, written out

Cover

In loving memory of Katherine Anne Vance March 4, 1948 — August 2, 2026 Saint Brigid Church, San Diego Saturday, August 16, 2026, at eleven o'clock

Full name including middle name, both dates, and where and when. This is the page people keep, so it carries the facts.

Order of service

Prelude Welcome — Reverend Michael Hart Opening prayer Scripture reading — Psalm 23, read by Grace Vance Hymn — Amazing Grace Eulogy — James Vance Reflections from family and friends Committal and closing prayer Recessional

Name the person doing each part. It tells the room who is speaking, and it is a quiet honour for the people named.

Short obituary

Katherine was born in Escondido in 1948, the second of four. She married James in 1971 and they raised three children in Poway. She taught fourth grade for thirty-one years. She is survived by her husband, her children Grace, Michael and Anne, and seven grandchildren who all called her Nana.

Four or five sentences. The long version belongs in the eulogy; on the page it just becomes small type nobody reads.

Acknowledgement and reception

The family thanks you for your kindness, your cards, and for being here today. Your presence is a comfort we will not forget. Please join us afterwards at the parish hall, 4735 Cass Street, for lunch and remembering.

The reception details have to be printed. Nobody retains an address announced aloud at the end of a funeral.

What goes wrong

The mistakes worth avoiding

Fitting the full newspaper obituary inside, so it becomes unreadable small type.
Not having a second person check every name for spelling. This document is kept for decades.
Leaving the reception address off, when it is announced aloud to a room that will not remember it.
Forgetting to list pallbearers and readers, which is both useful and an honour.
Printing too few. Order more than the expected attendance; people take spares for family who could not come.

Questions people ask

How many programs should we print?

More than you expect to need. People take spares for relatives who could not attend, and running out at the door is a small distress nobody needs that day.

How quickly can this be turned around?

Fast. This is the one job here that gets pushed to the front of the queue, and a program can be designed and print-ready in under twenty-four hours.

Should there be a photograph?

Almost always, on the cover. One good photograph of them as they were, not necessarily the most recent one. Families often choose a picture from decades earlier and it is usually the right call.

Do you write the obituary?

No. The family writes it, in their words. I set it, tell you honestly if it is too long for the page, and make it read well.

Want the wording set properly?

Wording is included in anything designed here. Tell me who is hosting and anything delicate about it, and I will set it and show you two versions to choose between. $45 for a First Look concept, back in three days, and it comes off whatever you book.

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